Vacation and writing updates

Merry Christmas Eve, dear readers. Let's begin this post with what I have been doing since the last post.
So far, I have been accepted as a writer for Union Gospel Press, but no jobs have been sent out yet. I have also sent out more articles to different magazines and blogs, but no acceptances as of today.
I have received my check from Brio magazine from Focus on the Family. I am glad I have it, but there is a warning light going off in my head telling me I need to work harder.
Now I have to make a confession which will lead into the next part of this blog post.
Instead of relaxing and preparing for Christmas Day like any other normal person, I found myself looking for work today. As I looked and found most jobs I was completely unqualified for, I was on the verge of tears. In fact, as I am writing this, I realize that I no longer have control over my writing career. Also, more importantly, God doesn't have control over it either--fear does.
I think fear has had control of it from the outset and I am not happy about that. Fear of failing and not being able to support myself with my writing and fear of never being validated for my writing has gripped me.
Fear is a demonic taskmaster with a spiked, ten foot long whip in its hand. It screams at me to "work, work, work" and don't stop working until I say so. It knows my weaknesses--the things that bring it out--and it brings friends along. These friends are just as evil, but they are only minions to this psychotic villain. Their names are depression, uncertainty, and failure.
So I am taking a stand. I am quitting the writing profession.
Well, that may be a bit dramatic. I am not quitting it entirely. I would never forgive myself if I did.
I am stepping back from it for the holidays. Since today is Monday, I figure now is as good a time to do it as any.
I will pray that God will keep me away from the writing job boards, away from my Christian Writers' Market, even away from my current novel in progress on my laptop. I ask whoever is reading this, pray for me.
I need to rest my brain for a while.
I hope to see you all in the new year. Merry Christmas, everyone.